Monday, March 27, 2006

Long-Lost Sister Returned!

Well, Sunday night I talked again to my best friend from middle school, Skye! Skye and I have been buddies since she was twelve, and I was thirteen. We maintained our friendship despite me moving 500 miles away in 9th grade, and were best of friends through all the tumult of high school, and picking colleges. We were art buddies. Even when I chose to go to a conservative Christian liberal arts college in the Midwest and she chose art school in Washington DC, we remained close and talked on the phone about whatever was on our minds.

Then I went to grad school and she got married. Our lives took a different twist and though we remained in contact, it was more a once-a-year kind of friendship. Somehow the last two years, (even though both attempted periodically) we lost touch. This weekend I realized her birthday was a few days ago, so I called.

The great part was that we were able to instantly pick up, right where we left off. I could feel the mutual love of a long friendship, even over the phone wires. Our conversation was like an arrow aimed straight to the heart. She pointed out that the downside of being able to pick up so easily again, is that we could also easily let things slide again too. So we agreed to call again soon (and we meant it). It's good to be talking to my "younger sister" again!

Friday, March 24, 2006

Strange Currencies

Well, it feels like a weird time right now, change and upheaval are in the air, but nothing concrete. Sometimes when things get a little crazy, I've got to say "You chose this chaos" to myself. That's the truth of the matter. Without a few spinning plates I feel a little down. Last night had a great conversation on the phone (though not totally perfect, pretty great) that made me feel... Hopeful. Giddy.

Then I went to sleep (which was difficult in the first place due to racing thoughts) and awoke at three in the morning from vague nightmares. I laid awake till 6 am. Larry looked disturbed as he tried to sleep at my feet and I told him, "This is called tossing and turning, Larry."
Fortunately, I went back to sleep finally (had to move to the couch) and double fortunately, had a personal day today so I could sleep in as late as I wanted.

Sigh. Its hard to want something and it's even harder when it looks as if you could get it. Torn between "Don't blow this" and "Are you sure?" I guess the answer is "keep watching, keep praying." And "time will tell."

Friday, March 17, 2006

Happy St. Pats!

Well, today is a hopeful-type day! I'm going to leave soon for Indy, all pressing responsibilities in STL are taken care of, thank goodness. My hacking cough continues and hopefully won't spread to baby Alex. (Don't worry, it isn't Whooping Cough, as far as we can determine). I know you were worried. Larry continues to drop dead little objects on my lap that he attacks and "kills," in his predator mode. So far, a plastic baggie, a ball of foil and a fluff of yarn are his victims.

Thought for the day: "Any effort that has self-glorification as its final endpoint is bound to end in disaster."-Robert M. Persig, in Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintainance

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Sunday Musings

Well, today is a peaceful-type day. Its cool and quiet inside while storm clouds gather overhead. I hear the rush of the cars on the interstate below my apartment. The sudafed-effect has tapered off from a dizzy, head-rush to clearing my foggy senses (as intended). Talked with mom on the phone and sent prayer requests that I know will be faithfully lifted up. We talked about what we are learning. Jim Hatch preached this Sunday. It was a lot of wisdom that he pulled together after being asked to preach at 7:00 am. My heart said "yes! yes!" as he preached about God redeeming our struggles, our sin, our suffering to create something glorious (of which, we have but a glimpse).

Then on the way home from lunch I angrily passed the car that pulled out in front of me and muttered to myself about what a "jerk" they were. I honked, then made sure to stomp on the gas as I passed them, so they would see clearly, how obnoxiously they had inconvenienced me. My brows were knitted together and my mouth was a grim line of indignation. It was one of those painfully obvious moments; daydreaming all these beautiful thoughts about suffering and salvation that barely seemed to touch my knee-jerk reactions as soon as "my rights were violated." (Just as Jim shared about). Hello, mirror! This is me!

I can get so lost in my cloudy visions of grandeur that I fail to see Christ on the street before me. I fail to see that the cross he has called me to bear (today) is a traffic jam, a "jerk" on the road, any small detour in my fine-tuned plans for my own future. Oh, Lord, have mercy on me. Help me be merciful. And take that future from me, use it as you will.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Home Sick, and I Feel Great!

Ok, ok, not great as in "not sick" but it feels great to listen to my newly-found, hacking cough and just take a day to recover rather than forcing myself through the motions of work. It felt great to sleep on the couch a few hours and have crazy dreams, and wake up and watch TV; and that its two in the afternoon and I'm going to go brew some chicken-noodle and laze around.

Especially when the alternative is going through files, and trying to be interested in other people despite the haze in my head. If If I could just have all this minus congestion, it would be heaven!

Now here's a little complaint. When right-wingers conclude that women's healthcare (such as cervical cancer screening or birthcontrol) means "abortion" and take away funding, while at the same time concluding that "erectile dysfunction" is a legitimate health condition that senators need coverage for, I have some problems with this picture. WAKE UP, CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIANS!!!! Use some critical thinking and don't just go with the status quo!

Saturday, March 04, 2006

A Question:
ok, ok, so I can't stand to have that "self-pity" post be at the top of the line, so I will replace it with something new. Decided not to travel this weekend, which made life a little less stressful.

Ok, so I'm going to ask, if there is anybody out there, respond to this question, I am interested in your ideas.

If you could meet anyone in history, alive or dead, who would it be and why?

Be as serious or as silly as you want in your reply. Someone else asked me that and I was stumped!