Saturday, July 22, 2006

"Do You Have Power?"

In place of "How are you?"--St. Louis greeting of the week. Stay cool, and come on over if you don't. Larr and I can share.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Mean Girls

Do you remember the days of Junior High intrigue? Do you remember that friend that you trusted, that friend that wrote “Best Friends Forever” in your yearbooks? Maybe you also called each other every night to “work on homework” and talk about all the stupid things that were so important back then: who liked who, and what to wear tomorrow. Perhaps you shared clothes, and nail polish, and advice about how you should do your hair (Just add hairspray to your bangs and stand them up like this!) as well as advice on how you should handle the painful and awkward social situations coming up on a daily basis. It was all so new and had such strange rules; the world of middle school interactions.

Do you remember how the everything was so scary and confusing, but it was really important to be cool, and really, really important to look like you weren’t scared or confused?

And then, the end of the “Best Friend.” The fight in the bathroom, the tears, the painful silence, the splitting of the clique as people picked sides. O, the intensity of the hatred, spawned by junior high betrayal. I trusted you! You don’t want to be my friend anymore.

I just had the strangest experience. Flash forward fifteen years! That very girl, the “B.F.F.” gone sour, found me on Myspace . She apologized profusely and explained the twists (got into wrong crowd) her life was taking at that time. She shared regrets, she asked me to write back with a big life update. She shared that so many of her relationships have ended with her slamming the door after some problem, and that she is trying to change. Since then, she went to college a couple years. She had a daughter. She still lives in the same city.

Now that was one conversation I thought I would never have. In the months following the end of our friendship, I had moved a thousand miles away with my family. Everyone started high school, the old was gone, the new had begun. There were new conflicts and friends, and new things to worry about. Somewhere in there I recognized a certain bitterness I held towards this girl, and I deliberately let it go. I forgave. Then, truthfully, I forgot. I had long since stopped wondering about her, or how her life turned out; life kept moving. But she shared that she still wondered what had happened to me, the guilt she felt kept her attached, with remorse. Today I will set her free.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Are You a "Huggy" Person?

I ran across this article. What do you think? What is your preferred hugging style? Do you think other styles deserve mention?

Men are Hugging Men More,
but Rules Aren't Always Clearly Defined


The hug, long reserved for women, celebrating sports victories, and men from other countries, is muscling its way into everyday American Guydom.

Stoic machismo still thrives, but at its heels yaps a touchier, Dr. Phil version of virility. Boundaries are eroding. Defenses are being scaled.

The male hug is complicating everything. Men accustomed to the automatic hand clasp accompanied with a brisk up-and-down pump at dinner parties and college reunions, now must preface their greetings or goodbyes with intricate and split-second calculations based on body language, length of friendship and other factors.

Do I shake or do I hug? Making the right choice matters. If one guy goes for the hug, but the other decides upon a handshake, they might collide. An excruciating dance will follow, as the poor lads work feverishly to determine what to do with their hands, their arms, their bodies...

click to read the rest of the article


  • The Hip-Hop

    Guys greet with handshakes of various styles, pull themselves in toward each other, then bump their inside shoulders.

  • The Half-and-Half

    Guys greet each other with standard handshakes, then reach around each other's shoulders with their left arms and pat each other's backs.

  • The Bear

    Guys dispense with handshakes altogether. When they greet, the left arm drapes over the partner's right shoulder; the right arm goes around the waist. The left hand usually pats the partner's back.

    -- The Denver Post

  • Sunday, July 09, 2006

    Outlook and Inlook

    ...Take me to the magic of the moment
    On a glory night
    Where the children of tomorrow share their dreams
    With you and me
    Take me to the magic of the moment
    On a glory night
    Where the children of tomorrow dream away
    in the wind of change...

    This weekend, as I hung out with my housechurch at the blissful summer lakehouse retreat, I was thinking about happiness and "stuff." I noticed that even when surrounded by wonderful people, boats, tubing and waterskis, swimming pool, yummy cheesecake, luxurious lakehouse, and a relaxing hammock in the ideal summer breeze that all that "stuff" couldn't make me happy.

    I noticed that my inner frame of mind has alot more influence on my happiness and state of wellbeing than my circumstances. I noticed that my focus and my interprepretation of events around me can vastly influence my inner peace of mind. I'm not saying "mind over matter" because I don't think that "matter" doesn't matter (and there are circumstances that try the soul), but I'm becoming more aware that circumstances don't determine our responses. I guess that's how we can "give thanks in all circumstances." I wonder if I were more thankful, how it would influence my outlook and inner peace?

    (Viva la Italia!)

    Tuesday, July 04, 2006

    Happy fourth of July! Celebrate freedom today...

    I wish I had the perfect word for today. I think I choose ENIGMATIC. The weather hangs heavy and humid, with hints of rain and sunshine intermingling, and indecisive. I feel a little that way too.

    Its kind of exciting to discover "like minds" hidden in the frames of people we know, or thought we knew.

    I wish that my love of adventure would transfer over into a love of not-knowing-what-will-happen-with-my-life. You'd think I would find it fabulous to be unsure, whooo-hoo! More surprises, right? But sometimes I just want things a little more certain. Maybe I just want certain things a little more certain. No guarantees, right. And certainly no "true" insurance. If I just "knew" there was a "happy" ending, I would maybe be more content in this way-station. Ha! Funny because I kind of know that whatever the "endings," the finale will be happy and the inbetweens will be not quite what I expected.

    I find myself restless at work now that I'm back from New O. I didn't expect that. I'm just planting the little seed "maybe seeking elsewhere" and will see if it grows over the next year, or if it just lays dormant. I'm certainly not making any sudden moves. Especially not before securing the next stage of licensure (clinical). But I'm considering things. This is how Big Change occurs, bit by bit, restless considerations, awareness of new options by degree, taking a step-- jumping in!