Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Falling Thoughts

Every bone in my aching body says "lay me down to sleep" but a faint restlessness keeps me at the keyboard.

The kids are on my mind tonight: three kids whose mom is just a kid too, a little boy throwing a tantrum in the lobby, big shining eyes looking into mine over the seesaw on the playground, a little girl proudly carrying her new lunchbox, pink-with-princesses.

It feels like autumn– it’s so early I know it will change back to summer before too long. Tonight is a night for open windows and cooling breezes. I guess we have Ernesto to thank for this early turn of the seasons.

It’s the one year anniversary since Hurricane Katrina hit. Say a prayer for our friends in New Orleans. They still struggle.

I (via Larry) lost my watch last October and I stubbornly refused to believe it was gone. I went through the year, watch-less and learning to anticipate the rhythm of hours passing. Monday morning I awoke to discover my watch laying on the kitchen floor. Thank you Larry! A promising start for a new week.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Profile of a Serial Killer

Well, I mistakenly informed a friend that he fit the profile for a serial killer. In order to prevent misinformation from spreading any further by my careless words, thought I'd correct things in a public forum. The actual top three indicators common among serial killers are as follows:

1. Setting fires on purpose.

2. Being abused as a child. (I have also heard extended bed-wetting).

3. Torturing small animals.

Hope that clears things up! These may not hold up in a study, but at least at one point were considered childhood indicators...

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Terror In the Gas City Petting Zoo

If you want a sense of my Indiana roots, check out this little news piece. Click on "Enter Now" to get to the story "War on Terre Haute." It seems Indiana has the dubious distinction of "Most Terror Targets" of any state in the US. The Gas City Petting Zoo is just a mile or two away from home, sweet home, so imagine my concern for my family's well-being.

Oh, and if you view my blog through STLBlogs, the million entries recently were a mistake. I was going back and changing the color of the font on some old stuff, and the feed read them all as new entries!!! Aghhhh Either that, or I am just a prolific writer!

Monday, August 14, 2006

Whirling Dervish

These days my cup has been full, I feel half inclined to tip it away from me, and say "Too Much!" It has been a week of remembering rich friendships and relationships, and having down-home conversation over country fried steak, shaved ice, mudslides, tiramisu, Steak ‘n’ Shake, jambalaya, Imo’s pizza, or just doing stretches in the office. Rich relationships, rich food.

The sky overhead is cloudy and promises that September is coming soon, the birth of my new year and the death of an old one. The humidity hangs limply, reminding me August has not yet departed. I feel watchful, like an old guard-dog, not quite sure what the rustling around me means, but not yet ready to lay my head down and rest.

I gravitate towards people and long for solitude simultaneously, and I choose people, mostly. Larry licks at my ankles like I am a stranger, too long away. I know.

I know what rest looks like and feels like, and I know there will be time enough for rest, if not tomorrow, next week. I find myself distracted and forgetting my words mid-sentence, wandering on errands only half-completed, documentation piles up at work like dirty laundry. Letters hang about for weeks, lacking only a few cents of postage; calls to be returned are a list on the kitchen table.

I find myself convincing Vin to go on zany, adventure drives to test our "sneaky detective" instincts. I tell friends,
"I mean no,"
"I mean it’s time to go,
"Ok, let’s stay."
"Aren’t you glad we did?" Mid-afternoon I am exhausted, spent, half-depressed and no caffeine can touch it. Evening is a second wind and I get away from myself, only to find myself lost yet again.

I try to "manage my time" and then I give up and just jump right in. Some days I just feel "hard to get ahold of." A friend reminded me Sunday, that I am "fixed in God’s hand." Thank you, friend.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Where Does My Hope Come From?

When the servant of the man of God got up and went out early the next morning, an army with horses and chariots had surrounded the city. "Oh my Lord, what shall we do?" the servant asked.

"Don't be afraid," the prophet answered. "Those who are with us are more than those who are with them." And Elisha prayed, "O Lord, open his eyes so he may see."

Then the Lord opened the servant's eyes and he looked around and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha...
2 Kings 6:15-17

He who is with us is greater than all the things that have our minds preoccupied, worried, sad, despairing, questioning, anxious, hopeless, wandering, tired, or afraid.

Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:17

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Do You Have the "Right" Worldview?

Well, I was poking around and discovered a handy little quiz to see just how your worldview "measures up." I think my views are fairly middle-of-the road socially, and biblically conservative, but this survey let me know that I am, in fact, a socialist, and therefore, not a "strong, Biblical worldview thinker."

It's actually a little funny. I didn't know people this dogmatic existed beyond the world of the cinema. You know, the people who have deified the constitution and founding fathers of the Promised Land, I mean America.

Anyway, to find out how strong and Biblical your worldview is go here: http://www.worldviewweekend.com/test/register.php

And post your results. I bet there are commies among us. I discovered this quiz on a blog titled "Bad Christian" which is actually pretty interesting. Oh, and did you note I put a feed on STL Blogs now? So this is my test entry to see how well it works.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Movie Menagerie

Hmmmmm, who crafted these questions? "Himalayan Hamlet?" ha ha ha
Well, I will respond the best I can right now. These are tough. I think they accessed a part of my brain I haven't used in awhile. Yep folks, we are long overdue for a movie marathon!

1) What is a movie that changed the way you think and act? Or just got you thinking, if the first question is too intimidating.
I felt haunted by "The Conversation" with Gene Hackman. It made me afraid to flush the toilet. If you haven't seen it, you should. But very disturbing. Only rated PG and one of the most thought-provoking, "fright-flicks" I have seen. I'd watch it again. Trying to exorcise my old ghosts.

2) It's a late autumn evening and rainy and cold? What do you have for dinner/snack? What do you watch?
Mmmmm. It is much easier to pick a meal than a movie. Maybe some hot grilled swiss on sourdough, with cold tomato and roast beef.Truthfully, I like to watch movies I have never seen, so I'd much rather see something new, and cozy up under a blanket to be surprised.

3) You are off to wee Himalayan hamlet for a year, your laptop hard drive can hold one film.
What will it be?Perhaps "Waking Life"- It would inspire me to creativity and thoughtfulness.

4) What movie made you laugh the hardest? What movie made you cry?
Laughed the hardest: "As Good as It Gets"- quirky people are the funniest. You know, I really liked both "Shreks"- I went in the mood to laugh and I got my money's worth.
Cried: "My Life"- the wife is pregnant and the husband is dying of cancer, I always have very cleansing tears from that one.
"Edward Scissorhands" always gets at least a tear or two out of me.
"Old Yeller"

5) Favorite actor (female, male)?
I had plans to marry both Robert Sean Leonard and Ethan Hawke, neither of which would have me.I love Jodie Foster. I still like Claire Danes, though I hear she's a snob in real life.

6) What book or story would you like to see made into a film or what book do you love that could never be made into a film?
There's a fantasy/sci-fi type book called "Dragonsinger" by Anne McCaffrey that I used to think would be a great movie. I HATE that they made movies out of the wonderfully illustrated books by Chris VanAllsburg. (Jumanji, Polar Express). But I have not seen either movie so maybe they did a great job, I don't know. I just figure it was better in imagination. Also, don't like the Harry Potter movies.

7) What is a movie that immediately after you watched it, you wish you hadn't?
"Arsenic and Old Lace"
"Children of the Corn"

8) Do you read movie reviews? Before, after, never? Whose reviews do you find the best? Are you an analyzer?
I only read movie reviews that fall into my lap, or if I'm hesitant to see a movie. I don't pre-critique, but I love to post-analyze.

9) What movie do you think is a must see, but that you can only recommend with caveats?
"American History X" is rough but worthwhile. "American Beauty" is thought provoking but should be watched thoughtfully, and I don't know that I could watch it more than once.

10) What movie do you most wish to share with your friends?
Oh guys, I was just thinking of that movie "Waking Life." I want to watch it again. I think we should. All about dream life/real life and the meaning of life! It's cool!

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Book List-mania!

Well, I thought I'd post my little booklist here since I saw I was tagged in the comments of Heather's blog. So the rules of the game for newby's is that once tagged, you need to fill out the list for yourself and then tag five others.

This kills two birds with one stone, because I was chided for not blogging frequently enough, and I'm no longer tagged. So read 'em and weep!

1. One book that changed your life:
"Search for Significance" gave me insight for myself and for counseling others
"The Imitiation of Christ" by Thomas a Kempis- I wish it had changed my life more...

2. One book that you’ve read more than once:
"My Name is Asher Lev" by Chaim Potok- the conflicted inner world of an artist
"Steppenwolf" by Herman Hesse- more interesting the first time than the second
"The Last Battle" and "The Horse and His Boy" by C.S. Lewis (My two faves in the series)
"Deadly Persuasion: Why Women And Girls Must Fight The Addictive Power Of Advertising" by Jean Kilbourne- wow! very eye-opening about the propaganda we face everyday; every American girl should read it!

3. One book you’d want on a desert island:
"Middlemarch" by George Elliot- the characters are so well written, I'd feel like I had friends with me, plus it is a little slow-moving, perfect for a lazy, island day.
a book that would make me laugh (see number 4)

4. One book that made you laugh:
"There's Treasure Everywhere" by Bill Watterson, my FAVORITE Calvin and Hobbes collection

5. One book that made you cry:
"The Witch of Blackbird Pond" by Elizabeth George Speare

6. One book that you wish had been written:
"How to Make Time Go Fast or Slow Depending on The Situation"

7. One book that you wish had never been written:
"A Confederacy of Dunces" by John Kennedy Toole, ugh! I tried to read it for a book club, and instead I quit the book club

8. One book you’re currently reading:
Still working on "War and Peace" but it is getting really exciting, they are about to defeat Napolean! (Which is crazy to me because I still have one third to go!)

9. One book you’ve been meaning to read:
"Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" by J.K. Rowling
"The Scarlet Letter" by Nathaniel Hawthorne

Ok, new tags: Tina, James, Lana, Doug and Kim B.