Thursday, February 28, 2008

Note to Self

I really should file my taxes while it's still cold and miserable outside.

Monday, February 25, 2008

How Long Must We Sing This Song?

I had a delightful conversation with a friend today...

We were chuckling together about how we are with God about our struggles.

“If only I could understand!”

“If only this problem were solved!”

We both know that we are to be dependent on God.

She wants understanding + dependency.
I want solutions + dependency.

We say, “Of course, Lord, I want to depend on you but Agh! Fix this! And it will be so much better, for both of us, see? And I just can’t take it if this doesn’t change!!!!!!! HELP!”

But the reason we laughed is that the struggles are the MEANS of dependency

we have to depend when we don’t understand, when we can’t solve our problems. We have no choice. I see our struggle as a bit like laying on a table, having an MRI or, at the dentist with plaster forms of your teeth being set in your mouth.

In the wait, if you panic, it’s nearly torture- the tube becomes a confining deathtrap, the plaster and tools in your mouth will surely choke you! “I’m gonna die like this!” That claustrophobia is panic. But the truth is, it’s not forever and if you can trust that, and just stay calm... the moment passes.

And I’m thankful that God doesn’t delight in torturing us, though that is how discipline feels as it is occurring... God is constantly stretching our faith and dependence on him.

I think of Abraham... how long are we willing to wait on the Lord?

Saturday, February 23, 2008

There I Was, In the Congo

Alright! I'm doing it, I'm in!

Our church is sending a mission trip to the Democratic Republic of the Congo this summer...
Lord willing, I will be there.

Photo Courtesy of National Geographic, photo of the day

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

A Slippery Little Fish Called Life

You live your life in the clouds,

in the pages of a book

or on television screens,

echoed in the voices of actors,

in html text and emails.

I live my life on restless waters,

questing and never finding.

Life passes by, slippery, it eludes our grasp

and if we seize the day,

so what?

If the day fades away into evening shadow,

so what?

Sunday, February 10, 2008

I Wish I May, I Wish I Might...

There's always a reason not to hope.

When you want something, you may not get it.

When that something appears within reach, it could just as well slip beyond your grasp- devastating.

When you finally have what you want, you very well could lose it.

Or it could be taken from you, or just change until it is no longer what you had envisioned.

You may just get bored with it and realize it never really made you happy.

Sigh. The truth is that our hopes are really far too big for the things and people of this world. We know there has to be more...

"Build your hopes on things eternal..."

This is from a journal entry, April 2006. I am not without hope tonight. Even so, I know that can be jolted by a phone call, a particularly discouraging day, sometimes by seemingly small events.

From a conversation, November 2007: "Be thankful. Don't just focus on the next thing, the next area you are uncertain of, or the future you don't know. Be thankful for right now, and how God has provided today for your daily needs and for where you are. Be thankful for how he has gotten you through. Recognize what you receive as God tending to your heart, and be thankful."